Betrayed & Stayed

Gift That Keeps on Giving

Monica Humpal’s Betrayed & Stayed touched me deeply—as a reader, a clinical supervisor, and a mental health counselor with a 45-year career. Her honesty gives voice to the complicated relationship between love, betrayal, grief, and faith. She offers hope with grace and humility while respecting the pain of those still finding their way.

Monica’s reminder that feelings are not the measure of faith echoes the scriptural truth that we walk by faith rather than sight (2 Corinthians 5:7). Her description of faith as something that often looks more like crawling is powerful. Sometimes trusting God means simply getting up again when we feel anything but strong. Both joyful and painful experiences can deepen that trust. I thought of Proverbs 16:9: we make our plans, but the Lord directs our steps—even when those steps are painfully small.

Monica explores grief as a gift through which learning, growth, and the rediscovery of ourselves can emerge. Her reflections also recognize the meaningful relationships that can grow through shared sorrow. Yet she never minimizes grief’s sting. She allows pain and possibility to exist together without asking the reader to hurry toward gratitude or healing.

Monica’s reflections on a tested foundation beautifully connect these themes. Betrayal and grief can challenge everything we believed was secure, yet the work of healing can deepen our faith and prepare us to meet what comes next. This brought me back to Proverbs 16:3 and the invitation to commit our work to the Lord, even when we cannot see its outcome.

What I found most powerful was Monica’s ability to acknowledge the complexity of having been loved and wounded by the same person while discovering her own capabilities. She does not pretend to have every answer. She demonstrates wisdom that makes room for complexity, humility about what we cannot explain, and strength expressed through the daily practice of living.The reflections of Monica’s two beautiful adult children, Morgan and Gavin, add another deeply meaningful dimension. Their courage in sharing their perspectives reminds us that a family’s journey contains more than one experience and more than one voice deserving to be heard.

My connection to Morgan makes this especially personal. I had the honor of serving as her clinical supervisor during her final year of graduate school and counseling internship, and as she worked toward professional licensure. Years later, I remain honored to witness her work. I see how the understanding she has gained through her own experiences, and her mother’s journey continues to inform the compassion she brings to others. She carries that understanding forward “so that” others may find support and healing. In her work, I see the gift continuing to give.
This book, too, is a gift that keeps on giving. Its reach extends beyond infidelity to those experiencing many forms of betrayal and grief. Monica offers the companionship of someone willing to tell the truth about suffering while making room for hope. Her words carry grace and a deeply human humility that touched me beyond what I can fully express.

—Jill Blackwelder, LCMHCS, CCS, LCAS, BC-TMC, NCC